“Humility will open doors more than arrogance ever will,” — Zig Ziglar.
The underlying fear of public speaking is a judgment or negative evaluation by others, but with preparation and persistence, you overcome it. Here is what we can do to get you started and beyond your fear.
Know your topic
The better you know your subject, the more confident you will be. Hence, you’ll likely have fewer mistakes and better choices. We can retrieve the information even if we stumble or lose our way. Your audience needs to recognize you as a credible speaker. Being knowledgeable about your topic is an easy way to do this. A good understanding will help you explain complex parts of your topic and deliver more confidence during the questions and answers session. Toastmasters have a famous saying that you can give a speech about anything. Go for it. But when you progress, choose what you know.
My client and friend, Terry Cutler, was one of Canada’s first Certified Ethical Hackers. In short, companies hire him to break into their networks. Terry has spoken worldwide at conferences, including Elevate, Toronto’s annual technology list of known speakers. Ask Terry about cybersecurity, cyber threats, and company defences; he’ll talk your ear off. Watch him speak in front of live audiences, and he’ll send them home fearing the next time they log on to their computers. Ask Terry about flowers. He doesn’t know a thing about flowers.
Zig Ziglar was known for his riveting motivational talks in the 1980s and 90s. “Humility will open doors more than arrogance ever will,” he once said.
Gain stage exposure
In 2022, 24-year-old Cyril Junior Dim won the 2022 Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking. Backstage he said, “The more time you spend in front of audiences, the more comfortable you will become with critical eyes. Nerves may follow you for life, but with consistent exposure to the stage, one learns to notice nervousness, acknowledge it and contain it.”
Toastmasters offered me a live audience. But I needed a live audience who didn’t know me. After my first book, Stop the Denial: A Case for Embracing the Truth about Fitness, the ideal venues were fitness centres, gyms, associations, schools, and universities. The most accessible places to speak were gyms. I offered my services for free, did some small marketing, attracted about 50 people, and did my speech. The condition was that I could sell my books and keep the profit.
And everyone disagreed with every word I spoke! Get out there and speak.
Positive reframing (not thinking positive!)
Positive reframing is not asking people to think positively in every situation. Positive reframing brings you to a place to acknowledge your negative aspects, then asks you to evaluate whether there’s another way. Perhaps there are benefits or things you can change about it.
You constantly complain, “I hate this organization. I can barely find time to say what I want. It’s emotional and mentally exhausting.” You’ll likely continue to dwell on how much you hate the organization.
Can you reframe it?
“This has nothing to do with me. I felt disconnected from the organization. Maybe I saw what I wanted. Can I change anything about this situation or my expectations?” This thought pattern offers you the power to change your situation. The key is to take a step back and deal with things one at a time.
Some public speaking reframes:
- I’m not an excellent speaker. How would I know?
- My story isn’t good enough. Everyone’s story is good enough.
- I don’t know if I have the words for my speech. Write. Write. Write.
- I can’t connect. Practice. Practice. Practice.
- I don’t know if I can do it. Do it even if you are afraid. Expose yourself.
How do you deal with the fear of public speaking?
- Describe a time when you experienced fear when you were speaking publicly. It could be a wedding toast, a two-minute office presentation, or even at the family dinner table.
- How did you overcome it? What strategy did you employ to move you beyond your fear?
- What would you recommend to others when overcoming your fear of public speaking?
- What would be your three main “demons” regarding fear of public speaking?
These methods help you deal with the fear of public speaking. You may have your own. I’d love to hear how you deal with your fear of public speaking. Email me at richard@richardtardif.com
